Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
