It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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