If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Watching her eat just hurts me
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
