I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
