In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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