Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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