I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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