i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
