You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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