We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
