ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
