Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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