i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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