i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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