I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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