There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
