I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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