My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Randomize
