Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
