White coat. Heels.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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