It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
