Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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