I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
it's like heaven, but drunker
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
