The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
