I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
