you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
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