He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
