smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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