Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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