Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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