I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
