I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
