Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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