Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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