i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
