Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
MIDGETS
????
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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