I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
