I am in a vortex of obligation.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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