saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He has the fingertips of a God
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