Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
i believe in u and ur pee
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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