I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
