I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
