i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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