your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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