Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
