drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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