we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
