Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Randomize
