I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so explain again why im purple
no
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Randomize