If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Randomize
