No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
