Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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