Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
