Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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