I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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