trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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