i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
The power of my boobs compel you
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
