Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
