So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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