Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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