he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
