The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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