It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
