it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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