Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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