just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
