That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
