I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
