Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
