Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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