Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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