I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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