That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
